Trust

Eir and I had another training session yesterday. We went for a walk and did some boxing in the park. It was hard and, I swear this morning my eyelids ache. Yes, my eyelids. But I'm so proud of my self for going nearly three hours of exercise in two days when I'm still technically in rehab. Eir was proud too. 

When we got home my my said that I didn't look like I'd worked as hard as yesterday and Eir told her that I had, it was a different kind of work and that's why I wasn't puce and sweating as much. Then when we were stretching my brother started criticising and interfering and Eir told him that his input wasn't helpful or required and told him to go away. I think I love her. 

I think I mentioned that she was really badly injured when she was kicked by a horse and she's been wanting to start riding again but still doesn't have the confidence. I love riding but haven't been in years because most stables have a weight limit. We've set ourselves a goal as a pair: I'm going to get light enough to go riding and she's going to get in the right mindset and we're going to go riding together. I'm really excited. 

In other news I'm dating a colleague at the place I'm leaving and I saw him yesterday for the first time since I've been ill. He gave me a card and a gift as an "I'm glad you're doing better" gesture. It was some loose leaf tea and a personal-sized teapot which is a really thoughtful gift and something I'll definitely find useful. He's the nicest guy but I've learned that I don't really feel sparks with nice guys. But he's sweet and supportive and I don't feel threatened or insecure with him. Maybe I should just see where it goes. Maybe my masochism extends to being uncomfortable with emotional comfort. I don't know.

So, I'm seeing Eir again tonight. I ache. So bad. But it's the good kind. I know it is.